Jealous

So I have at least five people that I know that are pregnant including my dear frined Brandi. While I am extremmely happy for all these families at the same time I struggle with my own need for a baby. Matt and I have said that we will wait a few years but I am so worried that we will get five years down the road and be either too busy or we won't want to do it again becuase the girls will be 10 and 9. I know I should be happy with the 2 I have becasue there are so many people out there that can't have children. And I am. Yet, at the same time I want one maybe 2 more (Matt says only one more, we shall see). I love my husband and I love knowing that the child we have made is a gift to each other. I jsut wish I could talk him into it now. Don't mind my rambling just been one of those nights.

Skating

So today we had a birthday party at the skating ring. Needless to say I was stressed because I was worried that they would not be able to do it. Yet both girls did really good. Maddison only fell a handful of times. She was going at it. Kylie on the other hand is a klutz like me and she fell alot. Yet a few times was on purpose. It was really cute to watch but at the same time hard becuase Matt was missing another first. The first time that they were rolling skating. I even got out there skating. I had forgotten how much fun it was. Matt and I will have to take the kids when he gets home. Plus it is cheap entertainment.

Holding Steady

Well it has been a while since I last blogged but now that school is lmost over with my life should get a little normal. Right now I am holding steady at 140 and it fluctuates between 139 and 141. I have not been to the gym in a few months and I am heading back today. I will post more later.

Self refecltion time!!

These past two weeks have been some of the toughest due to a decision I made several months ago yet at the same time they have also been very eye opening.

During this wonderful and fun deployment I have learned several things about myself
1. I hate sleeping alone at night.
2. I am too much of a news Junkie
3. I can make hard decisions and live with the consequences
4. Matt is great husband even when he make mistakes.
5. I hate writing papers
6. I can do good on a test
7.I WILL GRADUATE FROM COLLEGE AFTER 7 YEARS OF TRYING!!!!

I think there comes a point in our lives whether we be married or single that we all learn that we need to learn to rely on ourselves before asking others for help. I have always looked towards my family to decide what should be done or what would be disapproving. Yet 4 years go I made the biggest decision to leave the state and go to a place where I knew no one. I did this without worrying about what my family thinks. And now my hubby and I WILL be making some big decisions in the coming months as we are leaving the military life to go back to the civilian world. While we are both worried(me more than him) we also are strong and confident in knowing that we have each other to fall back on. I am ready to see what my life has in store for me without worrying about the people who wish to see us fall.

As kids we are taught to look towards our families when we need help but when is it time to say enough. Well guess what I have had enough. If my family can not accept me then oh well I am done trying to please everyone. I can only be responsible for my happiness and not someone Else's. Right now it is all about me(and hubby and the kids).

HERE I COME WORLD!!!Ready or NOT

Kids

So Kyleie is learning how to read at school and while it has been very frustrating at times because we feel that she does have ADHD which makes is very hard to function. Yet on the otehr hand I can see that she is very eager to learn even though at times she does she confused by the words. The funny thing too is that she is so eager to learn how to spell everyones name and she is so proud of herelf becuase she can spell Matt(she is workign on mine but a little harder)She has also been trying to spell her middle name and her sisters name.
Kylie's willingness to learn has defintley helped her sister because maddison can now hold her pencil rigth and she is one of the few in her preschool class to write some letters.

I am so proud of my girls!!!!!!!!!!!