Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Past Life

So it seems I have made someone upset which is fine with me becuase they can not get over things in the past. We each have a past that we are not proud of . Some more than other.
I have done many things in my past that I am not proud to admit. But I will, I have stolen things, I have lied, I have been suspended and I am sure there are more . While I am not proud to admit these things it does not mean I am a awful person or even a bad mom. It just means that I am human. God and, my husband have forgiven me. If u can't then u do not need to be a part of my life or my kids life.

Also when I made the comment about school I was not thinking about anybody in paricular I was wondering if I was making the rigth decision for myself. Most regardless of what they do struggle with the exact same issue. It is hard to leave your children while you better yourself or even get a break. Yes there are many people who not feel that I should be in school and have a family yet my husband thinks it is right for us.He is the only person's opioinin that matters to me regarding school. Yes having kids, a full course load, and a husband deployed does make me stressed but who in their right mind could not say they would be stressed. If u think u can do what I do we can trade lives for one day and then u can judge me.

As for there are 2 sides to every story, this is a correct statement, but unless u were in the room when it the conversation was takign place please do not assume to know what was said just because of something someone told u. I have told brandi, my husband, and important people in my life my side if they want the other side they know where to go. I am not stopping them. Also, when these comments are made they are done not in spite but to try to be a help. Unfortuanlty right now I do not see them as a help. I listen to what is said to me even when I do not want to here it. I talk it over with my husband and We make the best decisiosns for OUR family. Rigth now me finishing school is important because it will be something that I can fall back on when my husband changes jobs.

My Blog is for me to write my thoughts and feelings about what I am dealing with on a personal level because I do not always have soemone to talk to. U are not required to read, like or even agree with me and that is fine. If u want to say somethign please do not be a chicken and not leave your name. We are adults and we should act like adults.

Thank u
Jessica

2 comments:

Brandi said...

It doesn't really matter. I'm proud of you for owning up to your past and not acting like you're perfect all the time ... but after we've been friends for well over a decade, I guess I know most of those things now, don't I?

And you are not a bad mom, no matter what anyone says. A bad mom is one that tells her "children" she loves them, and promises to be there and take care of them, but really just tears them down all the time. You do not do that to your girls, and you have loved them in the only way that you know how. You provide a home for them where they are happy and well-adjusted in spite of all that they go through with their dad being gone and everything. You are an amazing mother to those children, a faithful wife to your husband, and an amazing woman. It's why I love you with all my heart, and why I call you sister no matter what blood says.

So you do what you think is best for your family, and everyone else ... juse tell them to mind their own business. And if the person leaving comments like that for me is who we think it is, they really are petty little people who should get over it and get a grip.

Love you girl ...

Jessica said...

Yeah u do know most of those things but obivously people think I should be treated like shit for the rest of my life. Heaven forbid if thier past actions are not forgiven.

I know I am not a bad mom but damn when peoplea re constantly up your butt about things u wonder if is could be true.

Yes I am hoping the person who was nice enough to give us a eye opener will post again. I am only going to wory about My husband and kids.

LOVE YA TOO