Monday, October 22, 2012

Weight Watchers -Picture Update

So we are almost at the 2 month mark since I started weight watchers!! Here are some update pictures.

These are from 8/25/2012- Weight 218.5

10/22/2012-202.4 I can really see the loss in my stomach and my breast

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Weight Watchers Week 8

I have finally figured a good system that works for me on my eating and it seems to be the way to keep my weight moving. I am going to florida for a week during the week of Thanksgiving to be with family and before I go I want to be down 25 pounds. That leaves me 28 days to get down 8.9lbs pounds. I would love to see more but if I don't then I will be happy with the 25lbs wieght loss.

Starting Weight-218.5
Current Weight- 202.4

Total weight loss- 16.1 lbs lossed
Weekly weight loss-3.1

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Taking care of me

 As a woman we make a lot of sacrifices for our families and for me that is no exception.

For the last 10 years I put aside what I wanted and needed to make sure that Matt and my kids had everything they  wanted and needed and in the end that only hurt me.

As a single mom money is always tight but I plan to do one nice thing for myself regardless of the money that I will spend. It will not be big things but I know that in the end taking care of me will be better for my kids.

Thinking that when my ex has the kids for his weekend I will go and get a pedicure.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Chicken and Wild Rice

Chicken and Wild Rice Soup

1 lb chicken tenders cut into bite size pieces

1 box of Uncle Ben’s wild rice, prepared per box instructions

1 cup celery, chopped

1 cup carrots, chopped

6 cups water

3 chicken bouillons

In a large pot combine the water and bouillon aad bring to a boil, reduce heat, add chicken, celery, and carrots and let simmer about an hour on low heat. Meanwhile prepare the rice as directed and when completed add to the pot and let simmer an additional 10 minutes, serve and enjoy.


8 servings=1 cup= 3 pts

Monday, October 15, 2012


Divorce is such a painful event.

I know that for the past few months I have done all that I could to run from the pain that I have been feeling. However every day I wake up and the pain is there. I know that as time moves on the pain will lessen but right now it is my constant companion like the anger I carry.

I have had many people tell me that it will get better and while I believe that it will at some point, right now I am struggling with that a lot.

The girls and I are going home next month for thanksgiving and I am hoping and praying that the tiny break will allow me a chance to sit back and relax and digest this some.

Sunday, October 14, 2012

Weight Watcher Week 7

After the rought week I had last week, I was determined that I was going to lose the weight that I gained plus more. Well this week was rough due to a Migraine that I got on Sunday and did not break until Friday. I actually ended up calling in sick becasue of the migraine on Friday. I am currently using activty link to track my activity and I am trying to hit a 100% or more every day but the last few days has been rough. This week I am going to try to hit the 100% or more so I can ear more activites.

Starting Weight-218.5
Current Weight -205.5

Weight loss of 2.2lbs
Total loss-13lbs

Saturday, October 13, 2012


There are event in our lives that make us stop and fell bad for ourselves. I know that was the case for me.

I know that right after my divorce I was telling Brandi how my ex and his new wife ruined my life. Yet at the time I did not realize how much my life would get better but harder.

Yet at the same time my ex and his new wife thought that life would be perfect. From what I can tell and I know it has not need easy.

His new wife was a friend of mine who had a baby and in my opinion was looking for someone to take care of get. She was still living at home and working as a waitress

Well here comes my ex looking like a Great War hero with all the crap stories he fed her, the fact that I was a horrible wife and he was being mistreated . Of course she fell for him. At first my anger was so bad that I would call her horrible names. Yet that anger is backing off and all I have for her now is sympathy and empathy.

Why do you ask?

Well I think my ex was not 100% honest with her about financial things. However he really has a hard time being honest. They are having so many money problems that she is working so much and bills are my getting paid. She has no health insurance for her child which is horrible because he and my girls are the true victims here and she wants to go home but can't because of my kids.

As this situation has become one that is less about how I feel. I can honestly say that I feel bad for her.

Sometimes it takes someone leaving you to see what you are made of.

Thanks  Matt for leaving me!!

Friday, October 12, 2012

Crab Salad-6 points per serving

Lately I have been looking for recipes that are higher protein. I have found that the higher protein stuff helps me lose weigth better. This is a recipe I used to make while working in a seafood market years ago. It is one that I could eat everyday. I have tried it with real crab meat but did not like it.
Crab Salad

1 pouch of imitation crab meat, broken into chunks

1 orange pepper, cleaned and sliced into strips

½ cucumber seeded and sliced into strips

4tbsp ff Italian dressing

Combine all ingredients into a bowl and let sit overnight so the ingredients have time to mix together

Makes 2 Servings but could make smaller servings

Points- 6 per serving

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Bean, Bacon, Carrot Soup

Mt friedn Brandi makes this soup and she is always talking about it so I decided to modify it to my liking and OMG it is great. Defintley will be made several times again.
Bean, Bacon and Carrot Soup-crockpot

1 lb of white beans

4 slices of bacon, cooked and diced

2 cups of baby carrots, diced into chunks

6 cups water

2 chicken bouillons

The night before you plan to cook this let the beans sit in the crockpot with enough water to cover the beans. Let soak overnight. In the morning turn on the crockpot for 8 hours on low.  If you want add the carrots in the morning or add about 2 hours before serving.  About an hour before serving add the bacon.  Serve and Enjoy.

Serving size is 8 one cup which is 5 points or 6 1.5 servings for 7 points.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Holding it together

I have so many friends and family who tell me that try are proud of me for the accomplishments that I have achieved. Yet at the end of the day I still have a hard time with those accomplishments.

I know I should be proud of the fact that I am able to work a full time job, do a internship that is 60 miles away and still manage to go to school one night a week plus juggle my kids and their schedule.

However there are days that I feel like I am barely holding on. I know that feeling will pass and I will love what I have achieved but right now in the moment. I want to be weak and have a pity party. Yet I don't have time to sit around to feel bad.

This past week defintley showed me that I am not holding it togteher very well. For the last few months I have been havign some problems with my car where it makes this loud noise. On Friday I went to the mechanic hoping that it would not be too bad but knowing that it was going to be bad. Needless to say I learned that I needed a new alternator, some pulley things, new brakes and a brake fluid flush. Yea that was a fun day with a totla bill of 1460 dollars.

Needless to say I was a mess!! I blew my diet and spent several hours on the phone crying about how my life was worthless. Yea I know it is not worthless but when you have to max out a credit card it does feel pretty bad.

Slowly I am working to see that even though I did not chosse this life this is the life that I was given.

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

My babies!!!

I was lookign through some of my past post and can't believe that I have not talked about my girls on here.  So I am going to talk about my babies some!!

This above is Kylie. She is nine years old and let me tell you she is all girl. She loves to sing and is currently in the choir at school. She loves to read, cook and paint. She tells me that she wants to be an artist when she grows up.

This is my Maddison. She is age 6. She got her beautiful red hair from her dad but she hates it because people comment on it.  Maddison likes to read and ride her bike. Maddison wants to be in cheerleading but I am a little hestiant too but I think next year she will. Maddison wants to be a teahcer, a cop or a social worker. She has some time to figure it out!!

Monday, October 8, 2012


“When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.”- Helen Rowland
After several months of coming to terms with my divorce I thought I was truly ok with everything however every time I look at my kids I wonder if there was any way that I could have made my marriage work. I know that deep down it was time for us to end it because we were both miserable and no longer made each other happy.
However in the last few weeks I have been trying to overcome the anger that I have.
I am angry at everyone including god.
Yes it is wrong to be mad at god but right now I so angry about the fact that my life is not how I wanted ti to be and yes I know that life is not always however we want it to be.
The anger at this point is my security blanket. If I am angry then I don’t have to let anyone in and I won’t get hurt yet I know that I can’t raise my kids like this.
I am going to spend the next few weeks overcoming the anger and realizing that while the divorced happened and my life was turned upside down.  I was also given a second chance to life my life without being controlled by someone else.
Here’s hoping to the anger leaving me alone so that I can be a strong woman raising my babies.

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Chicken Salad Recipe- 5points

Since I do alot of my job and school from my car I am always looksing for things that I can take on the run with me.  This salad is super yummy and easy to tranport. I like it on its own but you can try it in a wrap or on a lettuce leaf. Yummy
Chicken Salad

1 Large can of chunked cooked chicken, drained and crumbled

2 hardboiled eggs, whites only, chopped

½ cup diced celery

½ cup diced cucumber, remove the seeds

2 tbsp.  light sour cream

2 tbsp.  light mayo.

Combine all and refrigerate for at least 8 hours

The entire salad is 10 points but if you halve the recipes it is 5points for one cup.

Makes 2 cups


So since I am doing weight watchers I have several challenges that I want to do this week .  I am hoping these small challenged will help me move on.


1.       Drink 150oz of water a day. I am currently drinking about 120 oz

2.       Walk around the block at least 3 times- Monday, Friday and Saturday-These are the only nights I don’t have school

3.       No fast food-other than un sweet tea- Since I am in my car so much I eat a lot of fast food. I think this is one reason why I am struggling some.

4.       Get at least 6 hours of sleep a night- I really struggle with sleep.

Weight Watchers Week 6

This week has been a hard week becasue of some car problems that I had. So Friday and Saturday night I gave into my bad days and blew my diet completely out of the water. This week I am hopign to stay on track .

Starting Weight-218.5
Current Weight-207.7

Weight Gain-.02- Going to be busy this week getting this weight back down!!

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Biggesr Fear

Ask any single mom what their biggest fear and I can almost guarantee that loneliest is in the top 5.

Why is that?

My answer to the "why" part is because after a divorce you feel rejected and broken down in such a way that you don't know until I are going through it. Regardless if u were the one who filed like in my case, the pain and the hurt eventually gives way to the fear of being alone for the rest of your life.

I know that while Matt and I were going to marriage counseling and after I decided to file for divorce, the pain of losing him to another woman was so hard that there were days that I wished he was dead because it would have been hard but easier at the same time.

When you divorce someone that you have kids with you still have to see them and deal with them. That is doubly hard if there are still feelings on your part. However when the said person dies, there is no longer the contact. Yes it is painful and hurts like hell. But so is divorce as it is a death of a relationship.

So as I have mentioned my biggest fear is loneliness. I am not happy to admit that I tired to run from the pain of my divorce into another mans arms. Yet it was a life lesson I needed to learn.

I needed to see that while I love being in a relationship, I don't want to be your mom. I want to be your helpmate and vice versa. I also want someone who is willing to put me first even if it is once a month. I truly don't know what that is like. I also want someone who is going to e there for me when I have a hard and support me, rather than treating me like a school girl. However the most important thing in all this long list is I want someone that understands that I am a mom first and foremost and that my girls are my world.

I have been doing a lot of praying about the loneliness issue and know that it will get better regardless of what life gives to me

Monday, October 1, 2012

Hard to admit!

This post is extremely hard for me to write.

My friend Brandi pointed out to me a few weeks ago that the reason that I am so focused on having a man in my life is because I don't want to deal with the issues I have from my child hood. At the time I did not agree with her and I still disagree on some points however some of what she said was true.

When I was a child I experienced sexual an physical abuse at the hands of several family members including my mother. Thankfully I was able to leave and go live with my dad and his new wife. However here I was this child who have been abused for years and now I needed to pretend everything was ok.

Well as you can imagine it was not and I still think that I do have some PTSD from that event. I did get therapy but at the same time I had a lot of things being said to me about my mom and also how horrible I was.

Well as you can imagine growing up hearing that I was very resentful. However I was very good at holding it inside. For many years and still currently, I am one of those people who is a people pleaser.

However because of that I have allowed myself to be walked all over.

My goal for the next month is an odd one but I want to start standing up for myself. While this will not be easy because of work issues I know that I need to as this is one way to deal with my past but also to heal so that the future is better