Monday, April 23, 2007

Parents

My parnets would drive a sane man to be insane. I have had my my few share of mistakes but the one they can not get over is me getting pregnant my freshman year of college. Yes it was not a good decison but it helped me to grow up. I had my oldest dayghter in may and I was back to school in the 2nd week of June. I also went back to work to support her because I did not need them saying that I could not support her. I went on to school and managed to get my associates degree and yet this did not make them happy. My sister got her certificate in costemolgy and they were thrilled.
Then I married my babies daddy and this pissed them off more. They balme him for getting me pregnant. Hello it takes two to tango. Needless to say they did not pay for alot of my wedidng. my sister got married and they paid for everything. My husband enlisted in the army so we could make it until I had a degree and this pissed them off even more because they would not be able to see thier grandkids.
I am now in school full time to get my bacherlors and hopefully my masters and yet they tell me I am neglecting my family and that I was a bad parent because of this. My older sister is getting her nursing degree and I am very happy for her but they act like what I do is so easy. i wish they could live in my life one. Have your husband deployed to Iraq where he has been wounded, go to school, watch one daughter(other goes to preschool because of a learning disablilty), cook, clean and mange the household while worrying about what is happening to him plus explain to your children that daddy is gone but he will be back. My dream is to have a degree and just because I have kids does not mean i have to give it up it just meansI have to alter course for a while.
I am sorry I was never able to live up to thier dreams but I would not give up my life, husband or kids for the world.
Life is about the decisions we make and on that fateful day I made a bad chocie but it ended up turnign inot the best choice of my life.

Sorry for the rant.

3 comments:

Brandi said...

See, honey? Blogging is better than any shrink. You can jsut work it out on your own, in your own pace ... or you can just rant and rave and let it go for just a second. Let it stop torturing you ... at least until later. I'm sorry you have to deal with that still. I would have thought your dad would have come around and said, "Hey, this is my daughter, and she's special, and everyone else can kiss ass."

Maybe someday. Have you sat him down and really talked to him about this stuff?

truelifeofjess said...

I wish not until Jennie is dead because she controls what he thinks

Brandi said...

Well, that's sad, but you and I both know how true it is. I saw it when we were kids, and it's a shame that it's still coming between him and his daughter after all these years.