Baby Blues!!!

I have been thinking about doing this post for the last couple of weeks. After debating back and forth I decided to do it and see what comes my way.

I love being pregnant.

I have been thinking alot about when we would have another child. Our oldest is 6 going on 46 and I was in labor with her for 7 hours, my contractions were every 30-45seconds and she was 9.5lbs at birth had a 11cm head and was 21.5 inches long and I was a week early. My pregnancy with her was very unique has I did not know I was pregnant until I was 6 months along( I still had a period). Looking back at the early months when I had no clue I was pregnant, I thought my morning sickness was the stomach bug because it only happened when I was at work at 530 in the morning at chick fila and the stomach bug was going around. Then once the pregnancy was confirmed even the Dr was dumb founded because I had not gained any weight.( I did gain once I knew) and in fact had lost 30 pounds. By the end of the pregnancy I gained 70 lbs. I was overcompensating since I was worried about not knowing about.

Our youngest child is 3 and she is a handful. I was had to be induced with her at 3 days past due. I was induced at 10am and she was born at 4 pm the same day. Again the contractions were awful, my epidural failed due to be placed in the wrong spot and the idiot Dr dropped my placenta.(Yes ,Dropped). When she born she weighed 8lbs80z. At the time she was born my oldest was 27 mths old and I had only been married a year(Yes they have the same father). This pregnancy was also different in the fact that I knew 2 weeks after my missed period, and was sick morning,noon, and night. Oh did I mention my husband was at basic for 5 months of my pregnancy. Another different thing about her pregnancy was the fact that a Dr found a heart defect in me and required that I be on bed rest for the last 4 months which did not happen because of husband being at basic. Another major issue during her pregnancy is that 1 month before she was born we moved from Tn to La. Not a fun task with a 8 month pregnant woman and a 2 year old.

Now you may wonder why I am having these feelings of wanting another child after all the issues I had when pregnant. The major issue is that I have the baby itch. My DH and I have agreed that we would wait until the oldest is 10 before we try again but for me that seems like a lifetime from now. I have 3 reasons why I want more:
1. I want a son
2. I want to experiences some of the pregnancy fun that I did not experience
3. I love the feeling of the baby inside. Very Special.

Lately I feel as if I am running out on time to have kids due to my heart. I have been told by my Dr's not to have any more kids but I they also told me that if I would lose some weight than I might be able to carry the baby without a problem to my heart. Yet, I am so worried that my heart will give out before I have time to have my last child( I have been told that my heart is showing signs of it weaking, plus there is some concerns because my heart is pushing on my lungs). Am I be paranoid or is it a normal feeling for a person with a medical problem.