So the last few months have been a little weird and the reason why I say that is because during this time I met someone, got engaged and moved in with him all in a 3 month period. I wish I could say that we are parting on good terms but we are not.
However I was able to see that I was going to in end up in another rleationship like the one I just left. I don't want to be someones mom. I have my girls to raise and I don't want to have to raise a grown man. I also could see that there were mulitple other red flags taht were being pointed out to me but I did not want to see them because I was and I still am afraid of being alone. However I need to be alone, to come to grips with what happened in my marriage and how I can go about making myself whole without a man in my life.
The relationship I just left was a huge lesson for me because while I thought that I was ready to move on and was even ok being single I realized that I was scared of being a 30 year old divorced single mom of two and that scared the shit out of me. So rather than waiting and giving myself the time I needed to heal. I jumped off the cliff into another mess of a relationship. This time I am going to focus on me and the girls. No boys allowed. If and when god feels that I am ready for a man he will send one my way but until then I will sit back and watch my little ladies become young women.
Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I face single mom hood again!!!