Monday, September 24, 2012

Letting Go and Moving On

So the last few months have been a little weird and the reason why I say that is because during this time I met someone, got engaged and moved in with him all in a 3 month period.  I wish I could say that we are parting on good terms but we are not.

 However I was able to see that I was going to in end up in another rleationship like the one I just left. I don't want to be someones mom. I have my girls to raise and I don't want to have to raise a grown man. I also could see that there were mulitple other red flags taht were being pointed out to me  but I did not want to see them because I was and I still am afraid of being alone. However I need to be alone, to come to grips with what happened in my marriage and how I can go about making myself whole without a man in my life.

The relationship I just left was a huge lesson for me because while I thought that I was ready to move on and was even ok being single I realized that I was scared of being a 30 year old divorced single mom of two and that scared the shit out of me. So rather than waiting and giving myself the time I needed to heal.  I jumped off the cliff into another mess of a relationship. This time I am going to focus on me and the girls. No boys allowed. If and when god feels that I am ready for a man he will send one my way but until then I will sit back and watch my little ladies become young women.

Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I face single mom hood again!!!


Life Happens said...

I hope and pray that you will be blessed with strength to focus on your children and that the right person will come along and love you and your girls!

Jessica said...

Thanks!! I am praying for that also!!