Holding it together

I have so many friends and family who tell me that try are proud of me for the accomplishments that I have achieved. Yet at the end of the day I still have a hard time with those accomplishments.

I know I should be proud of the fact that I am able to work a full time job, do a internship that is 60 miles away and still manage to go to school one night a week plus juggle my kids and their schedule.

However there are days that I feel like I am barely holding on. I know that feeling will pass and I will love what I have achieved but right now in the moment. I want to be weak and have a pity party. Yet I don't have time to sit around to feel bad.

This past week defintley showed me that I am not holding it togteher very well. For the last few months I have been havign some problems with my car where it makes this loud noise. On Friday I went to the mechanic hoping that it would not be too bad but knowing that it was going to be bad. Needless to say I learned that I needed a new alternator, some pulley things, new brakes and a brake fluid flush. Yea that was a fun day with a totla bill of 1460 dollars.

Needless to say I was a mess!! I blew my diet and spent several hours on the phone crying about how my life was worthless. Yea I know it is not worthless but when you have to max out a credit card it does feel pretty bad.

Slowly I am working to see that even though I did not chosse this life this is the life that I was given.